So, 3rd week of school. And I must say, my classes are fairly easy, but I'm fucking up a bit nonetheless. I forgot to turn in an important assignment (in one of my favorite classes. Sheesh.) and to study for a test, so I'm implementing my old freshman strategy of writing everything on my wrist in permanent marker. Of course, at work I risk every talkative customer commenting on it, but I'll live.
Anyway, I'm LOVING Accounting. It's so easy I could cry. It's literally just typing numbers into a computer program. It's the best first hour I've ever had, because I'm permitted to listen to music while I work, and play computer games or check my e-mail after I'm done. Mrs. Gambaro is my hero. I love math that is more than distantly applicable to human life.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole college application process. I haven't even started my essay for Western, and since I plan to turn it in to all the other schools I apply to, just in case it makes me seem a little more human in their eyes, I have to wait to apply to the other colleges as well. Jesus, I want to be fourteen again! Whaaa.
The girl who sits behind me in Marketing needs to be euthanized. It's fine if you want to talk all hour, but when someone politely asks you to stop and you refuse, you've officially become a total bitch. I don't want to hear her inane little opinions on McDonalds french fries or her observations about Jennifer Granholm as a "stupid bitch." She just wants to hear her own voice all day long. Honestly, confrontation is delicious when it comes to telling a girl like THAT what you think of her.
I know that sounds disgustingly bitchy, but a lot of my comments have lately. Perpetual PMS and lack of sleep is becoming my excuse lately. Still, I feel really awful about it.
So, we were talking about Existentialism in English today ( j'adore Mr. Gollon!), and everyone seemed to regard it as very depressing. Basically, it's the philosophy that everyone is essentially alone, only what one experiences can be deemed true, and that passing time, choices, and uncertainty are the only things man can be sure of. Honestly, I didn't find it to be all that bleak of an approach to life. If people viewed the world this way, then there would be such a reduction of suffering in the world, I think, at least suffering caused by people to people. I mean, it's so much worse to think that everything happens for a reason and that some supreme being is arranging things just so to culminate in a certain outcome. That suggests a world governed by cruelty. If all occurances in this world have a purpose, then those who are tortured to death, those who starve in third world countries, those who contract HIV in the womb and are brought into the world destined to be sickly, those people are just casualties of the "bigger picture." If suffering is being allowed by someone or something in charge, then surely the world is a place trapped in cruelty, a place that can't escape a pattern of some living lives of pure agony and others owning yachts on the Riviera and ruling over a staff of 24. Why can't it all be chance? Why on earth must we believe that pain and anguish have purposes? If that's the case, certain people are triumphing at the expense of others, and our divine ruler is okay with it.
It's fine if you want to believe that there's a reason for it all, that there's a plan we're all meant to follow, but we need to accept that, for the most part, believing such things is a luxury. To believe that, you likely have a life now that you can be comfortable with. So many people don't. So many people need to be worrying about how to keep their children alive for another day , and suggesting that there's some benevolent being who wants their lives to be that way seems very sinister to me.
Anyway, forgive my juvenile Philosophy 101 crap. It's just something I've been thinking about today.